Beyond Skyrim:Cyrodiil/Flame Juggling and Other Parlor Tricks

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Flame Juggling and Other Parlor Tricks
Added by Beyond Skyrim: Cyrodiil
ID xx08B53B
Value 3 Weight 1
Type 1
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Found in the following locations:
Flame Juggling, and Other Assorted Parlor Tricks
by Gauforte the Gaudy
A guide to performing various parlor tricks, including juggling, playing instruments, performing card tricks, and handling fire

Please Note:
By purchasing and reading this text, you hereby acknowledge that I, Gauforte the Gaudy, have delivered this phenomenal text and all the requisite knowledge herein ("the text"), and, thus, you lose any moral or legal right to a refund.


Dear reader, have you ever wanted to juggle hundreds of balls at a time? To play the flute with only one hand? To draw the crowds with card tricks? Or to juggle flame itself? If so, you are reading the correct book.


In this treatise I will analyze, dissect and explain each individual parlor trick that has been popularized by I, the amazing Gauforte the Gaudy, in a simple and easy-to-follow manner.

Without further ado:

JUGGLING HUNDREDS OF BALLS AT A TIME

This is a simple matter of dexterity, I am afraid. If you are not dexterous enough or lack the requisite wit, I am afraid no amount of training will help you.


PLAYING THE FLUTE WITH ONLY ONE HAND

This is, of course, one of my very special talents. You can never hope to emulate this particular trick of Gauforte the Gaudy's, and, therefore, to explain would simply be a waste of both our time.


DRAWING THE CROWDS WITH CARD TRICKS

These are so simple, even a knuckle-dragging imgakin should be able to perform them. If you are unable to, I would suggest you ask a priest to give your head a good examination. You may have a case of Brain Rot. Alternatively, I would suggest that you may simply be thicker than two short planks.

JUGGLING FLAME ITSELF

Be a mage. Alternatively, lather your hands in kindlepitch and light it on fire with some sort of wooden plinth. But I wouldn't recommend that method. Too messy, and often leaves you with a particularly sub-optimal limb in the aftermath. Don't say I didn't warn you.